Tabs

Monday, September 12, 2011

Questions, Poly & D/s

The plan was simple, I would in about two weeks take Friday off and have a long weekend spending it with a friend who I adored, loved playing with and had been talking to my other partners about.

Well in a short time, things got very complicated at work, at home and elsewhere. It happens. It is normal and comes with my life. The complexity hit early. For example, I got a surprise meeting invite a couple of hours before Raven needed to catch her flight to see her new lover. I suspected this would happen and was so happy Batty and Raven worked out the logistics of getting her to the Airport.

The next bump hit hard. I was working non-stop up to when I was suppose to take the next day off. Discussions started to happen about me working while on vacation. Ugh! As luck and politics would happen, things fizzled. Thank goodness.

At the same time, my friend's life had some twists and turns. When I woke up Friday, I took my time packing, doing some work, getting a haircut before hitting the road. I wouldn't see her for a while.

Face to Face

I had questions for her. I had been thinking about them for weeks. I was also doubting my grasp of reality. My heart was racing forward and I was trying to keep myself in check.

I have a long list of relationship screw ups and disasters. There is a huge range. Some are the ones related to ending a relationship, the lies said to avoid the truth like avoiding calls or "been busy". Some are the ones related to going too fast, coming across as too much, smothering and a list of other mistakes. Some are mistakes from simply lying to myself about who I am and trying to be something I am not.

I needed to see her, face to face, watch her eyes, her lips, her smile, her body and be touching her as we talked. There was no way I was going to do this in email or over the telephone where so much information is lost between two people.

The Questions

She found me at the hotel pool. I gave her a kiss without soaking her with a wet hug. I toweled off, put a shirt on with my wet shorts and we went off to the hotel room. I had to laugh since I ended up leaving a puddle in the elevator.

It was fantastic to see her. I stripped out my clothes and toweled off some more and then we cuddled and kissed. With me naked and her fully clothed, I said "I have some questions" and she replied "I do too". It made me smile.

I told her I was avoiding asking her one and she asked "Why?". Wow. Good question.

The mystery and hope that exists before asking a question is wonderful. It is part of my kink and intimacy to learn about someone non-verbally, learn about each other especially in a dominate/submissive context. Mmmmm the wonderful mystery, excitement and thrill.

Asking the question and getting the desired answer is wonderful. Getting the undesired answer or something else can pause things and require more pondering and new understanding. Either answer defines the relationship better but it is a shame to lose the mystery, the excitement and hope. The cool thing is that there is so much to learn and explore so it is time to ask away.

We talked about our relationships. We talked about the label "poly" and what happens in a group setting and when alone. We talked about schedules, communication and our crazy lives. We talked about sex, some kink and D/s stuff. We talked about the rest of the time we could spend together. It was fun to chat, answer each others questions, learn about the other as I slowly stripped her, kissing, cuddling, touching and caressing her.

Mmmmmmmmmmm love my new partner, rope slut, playmate and girl all rolled up in one. I am her slut and she is mine.

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