San Diego GRUE

In the fall last year, when I drove to work in the morning I would listen to Graydancer's podcasts or ropecasts he has done over the years. His podcasts talk about many wonderful things, interesting people and interview many people. He also talked about GRUEs or Graydancer's Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza.

There was a certain amount of kindred spirit and respect that I could hear in his voice at times in his podcasts. In my fan boy way, I have remember those times and have been very curious about the targets of that respect.

3,000 mile Travel to a GRUE? Really?

I found out about the San Diego GRUE last year sometime. I am not sure of the how. I may have been thread stalking a rigger on FetLife. My interest really peaked when I saw a name that I heard in the Ropecast, "DemonSix" but I was confused. I thought it was a group not a person.

In any case, the idea at the time I had was my classic silly one of driving to California. I have done it before. Last time, I did it in a little more then 2 days.

I wasn't serious about doing it alone.

After attending the Connecticut GRUE, my seriousness changed. I wanted to go to another GRUE and I wanted to meet DemonSix. I was booking many weeks ahead of time so I knew the ticket wouldn't be expensive.

I did the registration, worked with the SDGRUE people and booked my flight, hotel and car.

Wow. I am going to the San Diego GRUE and it didn't cost me an arm and a leg. Fantastic!

Getting to the GRUE...

Well getting ready for the GRUE and getting there sucked. It is that time of year. It always sucks between middle of November until middle of January and has been this way since I was 16 or so and stopped living at home. This time was no different.

I was dealing with IRS Tax Court, Family Court, death, family issues and sickness. I manage. I dealt. I got my act together, packed, put on my happy face and started the trip through the cold and craziness of travel that I do enough of. I normally travel to northern California, not southern.

When I arrived in San Diego, the sun, warm weather, bay view, happy tweets and so on had cleared the crap away. Life was good. The drive to the hotel short.

It was a bit confusing where it was as I drove around and then I decided to find a inexpensive parking place. There was a nice one the next block over in a parking garage. I unloaded my 5 bags and headed to the hotel.

GRUE Hotel and Meet & Greet

This place rocked. The room was small. The wireless only in the lobby. It still was fantastic. The room decor, restaurant, walking distance to everything and much much more. Definitely will do that hotel again. Yum yum.

I unpacked. Got myself all dressed up and walked to the meet and greet. Yet again another fantastic bunch of people. I think we overfilled the room. Loved it.

It was one of those fixed 18% gratuity places so the service was overwhelmed and poor. If I was there for the restaurant, I would have been upset. The drinks flowed and the conversation was great! It was only a downer when one needed to leave the conversation to get a refill.

One or more times in the meet and greet, some GRUE logistics came up. Graydancer was organizing things with the SDGRUE people and communicating things out. He encourage people to show up on time or bet yet early. The start was important.

The subject of coffee came up. I had to have my coffee in the morning and others did too. Someone was offering to do a discounted Starbucks run. Neat. There is enough complications so I walked over to the wonderful lady who I just met and gave her one of my credit cards. She could charge it to me and do the hard work of bringing it to the GRUE. It was the least I could do.

The GRUE

The GRUE or Graydancer's Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza was so hard to describe. This was my second one and yet again it had this impossible to describe positive renewing energy to it.

Graydancer and Lady Octavia did their normal fantastic way of helping the DemonSix Group and Dungeon Servitus run the conference. I don't know how it works behind the scenes -- I just know it is work.

I used the "law of two feet" twice during the conference. I drifted from one thing to another once and then avoided a session on breath play (it is a hard limit for me as a top and a bottom). I learned much again including doping a session on "likes and dislikes of public play spaces".

The people I meet last night and during the GRUE are simply amazing. I continue to be impressed and happy I know them.

Special Surprise

I am primarily a rope nut as my kink and know enough about rope and Shibari or Kinbaku to know I don't know much. It is an sexual art and connection with tight bindings of rope around a bottom. There are many who say they have mastery but the few who are experts or mastery don't brag.

The surprise was that Daemon Six group had invited Master K down to San Diego and those that wanted to could have dinner and later a meet with him. Master K has been studying the art for years. I attended both and enjoyed the conversation. Wow. The fan boy in me really was annoyed I didn't pack his copy of the "The Beauty of Kinbaku". The memories were worth it.

Thank you DemonSix Group for the surprise!

Play Party

I had a wonderful time at the play party. For me, rope is establishing a connection. I want the rope to adapt to me, my playmate, our moods and the environment. The challenge and the results make me smile.

My type of rope play happened with a wonderful girl I met. She got permission from her owner. I did a chest harness on her as part of sharing my love of rope and teach what little I know. I didn't know she was part of a larger leather family. It made me smile when her leather family helped in the fun.

I apologized to her Ms. later for any errors on my part. She indicated things were good. I really don't like to cause drama or disrespect from my own ignorance.

For the rest of the play party, I enjoyed watching and learning. Some wonderful rope work was done. Sexy corset. Hog tie race between two man and a woman and I as I expected the very limber woman won. Some suspensions and other kinky play. There were other forms of play but be the rope crazy nut, I didn't focus my much on it.

Sunday morning & Graydancer's "cheap ass pancakes"

I woke up 2 or so hours before checkout and hauled ass getting coffee into me, showering, shaving, taming my digestive system and packing. I checked out of the hotel with my 2 large bags, backpack and carryon bag. Life was good.

I walked a block or so to the parking garage and "oh shit!". The parking garage with my rental was locked up! Oh my! Now what?

I walked around with bags in hand looking for an alternate entrance. There was none.
I was upset with myself and feeling stupid. Needed to think this through and my damn Blackberry Storm phone was acting dead again.

There was a glass entry way with a contact telephone number. I was going to call when I saw a security guard. He waved me to stay. We chatted briefly. It isn't an uncommon story it seems what I did. He asked me if I paid and he explained it was my lucky day -- I would skip paying. I thanked him and walked to my car and then drove it out through the sensor door into daylight. Thank goodness.

In a short moment I was at the place for the pancakes. It seems I was early even though other people had caught the "shuttle" that morning. It didn't matter. I was happy.

Post-GRUE Thinking

For me, the house that would shortly have boxed pancakes sizzling on a wide flat grill was peaceful. It surprised me. My flight was at dinner time so there was no rush but there was something else.

The large screen TV was showing some Shibari work by I think Osada Steve. As I said, I have much to learn about rope, who is who and so on. It was interesting to watch but I couldn't digest it so I paid attention to others.

It puzzled me to why I was feeling this way. Yes, I had a wonderful time and was coming down from playing last night. Yes, I was happy to be in warm San Diego instead of freezing cold Pittsburgh. Yes, I was happy I was in no rush and just kicking back. I couldn't put my finger on it for a while as to why I felt peaceful.

More and more people showed up. The conversations were growing and the energy was building. At some point, the light bulb went off and I realized why I was enjoying this moment in time. There was respect, positive energy and openness along cultural, racial and sexual lines. It wasn't the kinky part, it was the communication and respect part.

The first discussion I ended up asking questions and listening to involved Graydancer, Orpheus, Octavia and others about Dark Odyssey and "dance cards". I am not a mechanical player but an emotional one and the whole concept of scheduling scenes seemed impossible to me. The discussion was around fixed schedule play cards that the organizers did during the summer. I was happy to hear others have similar feelings and that gave me confidence.

The last discussion I ended up with before leaving near the end of the afternoon was about "poly". I don't understand what it is and what I am in the raneg of mono/poly thinking. There is so much personal emotional baggage, I will just keep learning and thinking about it for now.

Heading Home

Yet again the GRUE experience was fantastic but I needed to get into a different head space and get going. Off I went to the air port...

I dropped off my bags and went to checkin. It made me laugh. I was too early to check in! Well I went to a restaurant I could find in the airport. Settled down to eat, drink margaritas and wait with my bags. Time passed, I checked in and worked my way through the wonderful world of airport travel back to frozen Pittsburgh.

I am such a GRUE fan!