Attending a New Event

About a week ago, the realization came to me that I was going off to Folsom Fringe and then attending at the end of that event, the Folsom Street fair and would be a "newbie" to both. I wouldn't know many people other then presenters that I have had the pleasure of being in their class. I didn't know much about how the events would run other then what I read off the web. It caused me some anxiety but I quickly decided I would treat it like my first time entering the scene.

Being an Event Warrior

As someone I respect said recently, "be an event warrior". To quote him, Shibari Warrior:

Simply put, you need to become an Event Warrior. Bring the needed supplies of nourishment, clothing, watch and an ability to discern whats really important for you. Factor in time for sleep - nobody made you go 20 hours of classes, socializing and play, you decided that.

I am traveling with someone to both events so I had to pack wisely and augmented my clothing in case it would be cold. I also planned after I arrived to purchase water or whatnot as needed.

Expectations

I have been enjoying the local public scene and the east coast scene at events. I know people and can manage to start trouble especially the kind that I like. For this event, if I expect that sort of enjoyment, I will probably be disappointed.

So I am resetting my expectations to what I did when I first entered the public scene. By doing so, my disappointment will be not exist and I will enjoy myself much more. My goals are simple, attend classes so I can learn and enjoy meeting people both new and old. If some play time comes out of it, I consider that a bonus.

My friend and I have showed up a day early to let travel stress evaporate and put us into a mentally aware mindset. We struggled to sleep in this morning after arriving past 1AM East Coast time. It was good we put the "do not disturb" sign on the door and kept it there. We didn't need fresh linen or the added stress of organizing our stuff.

We went out and had lunch, walked around and came back. We have relaxed, read and surfed the web. In a few hours, the start of Folsom Fringe will occur in the form of registration and a meet and greet. I am looking forward to it with a big smile.

Full Dance Card

What I like about rope is difficult to describe and keeps evolving. There are certain aspects I enjoy very much and other aspects I am working to avoid.

There are elements of play such as control, making the bottom look hot, the way the bottoms sounds, the movements happening in my ropes, the physical effort I have put into it and our communication that when combined together seem to make the world disappear. It doesn't matter whether it is me or a co-topping scene. I need the world to disappear and to be with this wonderful person who has agreed to be my rope toy.

It is somewhat of a shock to my system when someone enters my scene or I manage to expand my awareness and discover an audience. I really don't want to pay attention outside of the scene. It takes away my kink but I am forced from repeated history to try and check on what is happening around me. After I mentally stumble with this unexpected awareness, bad energy comes into me thinking some drama is about to unfold or that I somehow am triggering something I can't control.

This isn't the same as feeling, hearing or otherwise somehow sensing the flogging scene to my right, the fire play scene off in the corner generating fun noises or another wild scene behind me. I have a sense of space, those scenes around me and in some weird way the energy that is happening. When someone quietly asks me if it is okay to flog on the cross next to me, I look at them with I think a smile and say "no problem".

Ignoring the issues with public play, the thing that frustrates me the most at the moment is my own rope work when it is doing something I don't want it to do. I want my scenes to be much longer but my understanding of the body, my rope work and the person I am playing is an overflowing amount of information to understand and internalize. I tend to error on the side of winding down my scene if I don't understand.

Dance Card

In the two or so weeks before I traveled to Cleveland to go to First Friday at OhioSMART, I was in discussions about play dates. As the First Friday got closer and closer, I was asked if I could tie more and more people.

For a guy who had no idea how long his scenes took, did maybe one scene in public each time and had for a while stopped playing totally because of bad things happening, it was a concern that I would agree to tie 3 or more people in one night.
Could I tie more then 3 people in one night?

I had no idea whether I could. I actually had to look and see how long the dungeon was open, understand my travel plans to the dungeon and actually think about whether I should be doing a series of scenes. Would I stress out about how long I did a scene? Can I do more then two scenes? Was I being honest with myself about my needs and wants? Was I going to mess with my head space with some new twist?

Was I really going to struggle with my ropes, understanding who I was tying and what our connection was and try to do multiple scenes?

I had listened carefully and asked some questions at one of the "cheap ass pancakes" part of a Graydancer GRUE. The people in the conversation were pretty clear about staying away from a schedule -- doing scenes based on time slots and so forth. These were experienced people discussing the downsides of a schedule.

Warning bells were going off. I did as best as I could to be honest about my dance card. I hoped for the best and no hurt feelings.

Friday Night

It is like a two hour drive to go to the play space in Cleveland. There are times like when we drove to Winter Wickedness that I was a mess by the time we arrived. Normally I don't care about my mental state when I arrive some place, I snap on my game face and deal with things.

Alas for my expression of my positive self, if I am a stress ball, I can't play. It isn't fun. I don't connect but simply manage and control. I can go to work for that sort of expression.

As luck would have it, the roads were breeze to drive on and we had eaten a relaxed diner before we had headed out. We got the OhioSMART space early and kicked back while people showed up. It was perfect relaxed head space. I was ready to play.

As things worked out, I did several scenes. I found I needed to drink water and take a break between scenes. During that time tended to think about the scenes and whether my ropes and I had gone far enough, well enough or I had contorted a body not the way I wanted. Being in floaty top space didn't let those thoughts do too much.

I enjoyed all of the scenes. I wish I had been aggressive and no so timiedly tame in the first one. In one of the other scenes, I was surprised I didn't get a scream and discovered it is one of my "top" cookies I enjoy. The last scene I pushed pretty hard on her and was distracted when the DM asked me if she was okay. Even though I said yes, I had no idea by what standard I should have said that.

I so enjoyed myself. Yep, I was pretty damn selfish with these hot woman and the enjoyed the co-topping scene with a top that does knife play.

Aftercare

Part of me is a crazy demanding bad boy but the other part of me is a responsible caring adult, the adult part of me wants to know I didn't mess up. I need that. I need the hugs, the quiet whispered exchanges and to know from their eyes that we are good.

I was doubly thankful as the night ended that I crossed paths with people and chatted. I was coming down slowly and needed to make sure what I sensed was still true about the scenes.

My thanks to the dom that did some teaching to me about knife play. I need to buy a knife now!

DC GRUE

After coming back from Floating World, running around dealing with day to day life and work, my friend and I headed off to the Washington DC GRUE.

Meet and Greet

We left mid-day and drove down to the hotel, checked in and went off to the meet and greet at a wonderful restaurant in Union Station called Thunder Grill. They had set up a long row of tables and it was overflowing with smiling facing chatting away. We sat down and ordered and talked to the people around us after saying hello and hugging the people we knew. It was a blast.

After a long fun dinner, we headed off to the hotel which was a few blocks away, got into our hotel room and cuddled with the alarm set to get our butts off to the Crucible Club before 9:30AM.

GRUE and Crucible

After checked in and got our wrists bands for attending, no photos and other little things resolved. We walked into the Crucible play space. It is a delightful large space with multiple levels and a side room. There were a variety of places to hang out and chat.

Upstairs people were gathering for the start of the GRUE. I had grabbed coffee on the lower level before heading up. I need my morning coffee and our attempt to get Starbucks had ended unsuccessfully at a closed shop.

Graydancer started the GRUE showing us the normal empty wall and indicating with a smile that the class list would be up shortly. As I had experienced in the past, it did. It was actually overflowing and very diverse.

A woman I meet the night before had expressed interest in a discussion session. I asked her if she was going to do it and she was unsure. I got a piece of paper and asked her to write the title of the class, put my scene name on it and put it up. When the discussion happened later that day, the normal open magic happened and there were many smiling faces in evidence during the session. I think she benefited from it. I sure did.

I was proud of my friend for organizing a rope bottom discussion. She rocks and did well. It behaved to some degree as expected with several doms in attendance including myself. I kept somewhat quiet but did participate since I had combined one of my discussions with this session.

The GRUE was extended by some time, I can't remember and then the closing circle happened. Yet again, it seemed like the wonderful good energy happened and many smiles abounded. It is one of the reasons I enjoy the GRUE.

Play party

My girl friend and I rushed off to shower and change so we can meet her friend's for dinner. She picked a wonderful place with great Thai food but inconsistent service. We chatted and then both couples headed off to the Crucible.

It was a shock to see cars and cars and cars all over the place. The clubs were busy and there was a major sports event nearby. The place was packed. The couple we were with found a space for us and we happily parked the car. Yay!

I grabbed my rope bag and walked off to the play party with my sexily dressed girlfriend. As we got close by, the place was hot with good looking sexy people! It made me smile, we entered and the Crucible looked totally different with the bright lights off, cool music and entertainment lights on. People were talking, laughing and sceneing. Of course, the scenes generated a fair share of whimpers, moans, groans and pleasurable erotic sounds.

After a while, I connected up with a wonderful woman and her boyfriend that I know from Pittsburgh. She suggested a co-topping scene with her boyfriend tied up. It was fun tying him up in a partial suspension and watching her play with him. The comment I loved best during the scene was about how she was more sadistic then him. I knew that would feed into the next scene.

The next scene was tying her up. In both scenes, I was doing a certain about of experiments with my ropes. I didn't quite like what happened with her hip harness and how it interacted with her arms as I suspended her totally off the floor. Meanwhile the boyfriend who had his nipples clamped by her earlier returned the favor. I soothingly told her that the pain subsides over time which it does.

The flip side is that taking off nipple clamps causes the blood to rush back in. It is a wicked amount of pain in a short amount of time. He removed them near the end of the rope scene with her arms still bound. Both of their reactions were wonderful.

I teased her a bit more with a finger tip circling a nipple occasionally as I unwound my ropes. The nipples are so sore and rubbing them is wicked after removing clamps that accidentally bumping into them is a mind play.

The "After" GRUE & Pancakes

I had paid for me and my girlfriend to stay at the Crucible after the play party as part of a "After GRUE" sleep over. Alas, I was crashing hard around 1AM and like my showers, we said our hellos and went to the hotel for some sleep.

In the morning, we listened to the fun things that happened later after we left. I wished I could have stayed but to do events one has to manage their sleep.

Graydancer's cheap ass pancakes and the rest of breakfast was great. Hit the spot with wonderful kinky company. People were in good although sleep deprived moods.

We stayed around and watched a Lew Ruben style suspension done by Graydancer on DoNotGoGently. It was hot and Cherry Coke took wonderful pics on her non-digital camera. Amazing fun stuff.

After noon at some point, my cute kitty girlfriend and I headed to the car and headed home. What a wonderful weekend.